AS time goes by....

I fell as if my life is passing me by and as much as I try to be more involved and try to enjoy it more the more I feel it is speeding faster. This past month so much has happened and I feel will share it in this odd way with everyone.

I requested at my job to be moved to days. I have been several times told what I want to hear only to be disappointed. I really hate that in nursing you will bend over backward to help out when you're sick, you are disappointing you family, ect. ect. ect. But when I need they give me some cock and bull story oh you're too valuable on nights to be moved. I am just soooo tired of it. I may just quit and move hospitals.

I found out that my best friend from yesteryear is getting married. I cannot tell you why or how this has hit me in such an odd way but... it has. I am so happy for her. But I am sad all at the same time. I feel this every time someone gets married; it feels as if they are leaving/changing forever. I have always felt this way but now that I am married it should feel like she is joining the club. But it also has put in my mind that I cannot lose something that was lost years ago. I am really struggling trying to figure out where we separated and why. But I cannot. I have some of my best memories with this girl, I feel as if she and I grew up together. I'm pretty sure it is just nostalgia and I'm sure that we drifted apart as a natural part of life. But I am just a little sad for losing such a wonderful part of my life. I have nothing but happy thoughts for her and her chosen companion. I know that she and he will have a great life together. I guess the friendship will be something more like phone calls and emails from now on. I guess I am finally realizing what has happened years ago and sad about the loss.

I have also been married for 3 years. I am trying to remember where that time has gone, but as previously stated, I am just a spectator on my life. I really am married to a wonder man. I know he has every intension of making me happy for the rest of my life. I know that he was one of the best choices I could have ever made. But yesterday he made a comment that stopped me in my tracks, it honestly made my heart stop beating. I feel even a bit ashamed for having such a negative reaction but he mentioned children. I don't know what is the matter with me, I love kids. Honestly, I love my nieces and nephews I honestly think I would do anything for them. But the thought of my children, me being a mother I just can't. The worst is there are so many who want that more than anything. I do want it just not now. But then what if later I find out that I can't. I know. I am the worst girl in the world. Mike is fabulous about it all and says that he understands, but how could he. You know I was under the assumption that everything and choices were some much easier after you were a grown up.

Anywhoo, no sense in blubbering on and on with my woes.

It was Mike’s year to plan our anniversary and boy did he. He took me out to breakfast at my favorite breakfast place. It’s called Magnolia Pancake Haus. IT is honesty the BEST place on earth to eat pancakes. Then he took me out to Canyon Lake where he had a boat waiting for us. We also had my brothers and Kelly and her family came and we played on the lake all day. It was so much fun. But one of the drawl backs I am burned fried crispy.

Mike is still working like a mad man. The house it really beginning to take shape I am so excited for him. Picture to follow.

what a week....

wow.

I am the proud anut (again) of a new baby. She was born yesterday at about 6:30 pm. I was lucky enough to be with my lovely sister as she brought this beautiful baby girl into the world. It was just wonderful, she is wonderful, everything is wonderful. I mean I have been in other peoples deliveries and all that jazz but this was just special. Now I am not gonna lie. This experiance did surface the baby bug in this lady right here. Somehow I feel that perhaps it has been driven just a bit deeper into my ever growing booty.


I also think that my eyes may just be turning green the last few days. I am SUPER jealous of my two little bros. My parent just surprised them with a trip to New York, NY. I always said that I would never be like my older siblings and bag on my little bros about what they got that I didn't but this I think takes the cake. They are going to have a blast and I will just have to make my husband take me.

I'm a Blogger challenged...

I really suck at the skill of Blogging. Let discuss that I changed my background right.... But I apparently deleted everything else. I have been trying to fix it but I am failing miserably. I have a new respect for the skilled Blogger. I will try to cultivate my talents so any tid bits would be greatly appreciated.

Working the NIGHT SHIFT

I won't do it... I won't apologize for not updating everyone in so long but better late than never, RIGHT??


Anywhoo...


I am working NIGHTS. Lets talk about it for just a moment how much this is not my idea of fun. It is what 5:30 in the AM and I am wide awake. I have not slept tonight and I am not at work. At about 9 I will crash where I will then sleep till at least 3 or 4 in the afternoon. This is unhealthy. I seriously think that I am honestly going bonkers with all this crapola. I think that Mike doesn't like either. Actually I think i know he is hating it. Cause last night at about 3 I really wanted to go and do something and I am pretty sure he was pissed when I woke him up to go... I'll ask him later. I also hate the actual job that I have to do at night. It is baby sitting. It is a ton of heavy lifting and continually waking people up who just want to be left alone to sleep. (I just don't get it.) Then everyday that I have off I am continually trying to readjust. It is a endless cycle of being tired and trying to figure out when I can sleep but not be anti social.


Mike bought a house. It is not really for us, so I really don't feel right calling it our house. It is a job type deal. You know a fix and flip type deal. But I am still forced to give help on picking colors and tile and such. Soo this was a little disclaimer on the next few pics. Its ours but i have been forbidden to get attached to this one. (the truth is i am superbly jealous of who ever is getting to live in my house in Provo, which is really weird because its in Provo. Ironic) So here are some before pics. I will be better about doing this, I mean I seriously have the feeling i have several more sleepless nights ahead.

Front Yard... Needs some landscaping, few flowers and little dirt can go a long way...imagine.

Yes, I will confirm the master bath is PINK. It gets better the other one is MINT GREEN. But like I said it needs work.

This is the face of a nervous wife. Also a pregnant sister. This is the fire place

Last but not least. Rusty wonderland. The back yard is nice big. There is also an ally way behind the house which is super nice.

MOVIN ON DOWN???

I am very impressed with myself... I made it to Texas in record time. Any guesses? Ok I'll just tell you. Just over 20 hours, I know, I know you are all wonder how such an amazing task was done?. Well as I have learned from my recent trip to Denver and going to visit Grandma Jackie I come from a long line of trucks. I also aparently have a lead foot. But I am glad to say that I made it here ticketless. We are all moved in with Kelly and doing great!! Kellys girls and dog were not too keen on meeting Rusty but it is just takin a little time to get to know each other. I found a job at a hospital and Mike is working for my uncles. All in all we are getting into the swing of life down here in Texas and loving it.

Work...

I am sitting at work. It is just shy of 3 AM and I am sitting at work wishing that I could be at home with Mike.

I am just contemplating how on earth people move cross country. I am VERY slowly packing and getting rid of the clutter (aka crap) that has been in our house since we bought it. It is amazing that Mike and I have only been married barley 2 years and the amount of accumulation is amazing. When we first started to think about moving we thought that it would be no big deal to do it in his truck and trailer and my car... NOW I am not so sure. But I think I've got it figured out. All of the bedding and cloths will be traveling not in boxes, like I originally thought, but in drawers and pretty much where ever else I can shove them. That should help with some of the boxes but I am pretty sure that is the extent of my packing tricks. So if anyone else has some helpful hint to getting me back into the lone star state, it would be much appreciated.

WE'RE BACK!!!

Well everyone we're back from paradise... well its usually is. The cruise was amazing. The sights were to die for but I am very we're back. The beginning was full of lines and lots of people. The first few days were "fun" days at sea. I am not so sure where they got "fun" from, well it is prolly from all of the drunks that were sloshing about the ship thinking they weren't acting like a bunch of tards. But no there were lots of activities throughout the days that were fun. The ship was much more rocky than I had expected, the captain said that the ship was hitting over 9 foot swells that was making the ship rock more than normal. But it really wasn't that big of a deal. (meaning that other feeling a bit queasy the first night no big deal) Our first port Grand Cayman we weren't able to get off the ship because the seas were too bad, so that kind of sucked. Then came Cozumel which was amazing. It was the best weather day we had the entire trip, blue sky and mid 80's. I got to go and swim with the dolphins and then my parents, Mike and I all went snorkeling. Then we went to Belize which was fun but the weather kind of stunk. There we went to Altun Ha ( a Mayan ruin) it was really great to see. It was amazing to see how advanced the civilization became and then fell. After Belize was Isla Rotan and let me tell you... It was terrible. You walk off the boat and outside of the docking area and it is so third world. There were so many children around and they just kind of found us and clung on to us till we went into a grocery type store and bought them some candy and told them to leave us alone. Then we had another day at sea which was the formal night so Mike got all dressed us in his brand new snazzy suit and i got to wear this fun black dress. Then the end was again full of lines. But it ended up that we had tons of time between having to get off the boat and out plane leaving we got to go to the Tampa City Aquarium. It was beautiful. I got to touch a penguin and a stingray. Its amazing the activities than places have during the mornings, feedings and such.